Some girls dream of their perfect wedding at an early age—the dress, the engagement, walking down the aisle, and the honeymoon. But as they get older, reality and responsibility hover over their dreams. It’s not just the ring, the dress, and the ceremony. It’s more about being equally yoked with your mate, ensuring that he can lead you spiritually, and you being equipped to handle the role of a wife. You know? Like the Proverbs 31woman. She strives to make her husband’s life better and embodies wisdom. She serves her family and others well and is giving of her time, energy, and resources.
Sure, some may think words like “serve”, “please” and “submit” are archaic and do not belong in the 21st century. However, author Erickajoy Daniels has created a fun, inspiring, and practical tool for the modern-day Proverbs 31 woman. In her interactive book, “Taking Care of Business While My Husband is at the Gate,” she invites women to embark upon a journey of enlightenment and guidance from a biblical perspective to be the best they can be for themselves, their family, and their husband, especially husbands in prominent positions.
But it takes a certain type of woman to hold it down and keep home and business running like a well-oiled machine. And with God’s help, it can be done. An excerpt from Daniels’ book explains it very well:
If we consider the type of woman whose husband is at the gate, let’s make this assumption: That type of man did not marry a slacker. It’s safe to say that she is one who has several responsibilities herself. In fact, that’s what she is all about—taking care of business. But if we are honest, we know that business wears us out. It takes a toll on us physically, mentally, and spiritually. It’s wear-and-tear for the journey. The blessing for us is that God has this tremendous warranty plan for us, as His special make and model, so that any repairs needed are covered, and He has a master technician to ensure they are done.
Knowing what it’s like to take on the responsibility of a Proverbs 31 woman, she also understands that in a healthy marriage, respecting your husband’s wishes should align with God’s will.
In a culture that continues to try to redefine “submission,”—which is only a negative word to those who do not understand its purpose—the role of a wife is necessary to spread positivity and help keep her family strong. Submission is respecting your husband’s point of view. It means sharing your opinion with him and not discrediting him in front of others. It also means trusting his decision as a leader, while feeling empowered to give your own viewpoint.
But let’s not get it twisted. A husband has roles too. His responsibility is to take the initiative in a marriage and lead with intention, wisdom, and care without micromanaging his wife’s thoughts and opinions. He is the protector, provider, and a safe zone.
Although society views men as powerful leaders, they still desire love, compassion, care, respect, and support from Wifey to push their limits and achieve goals. However, sometimes their desires are unknown, and that is where the wife steps in to fill the void, amongst other things. As Proverbs 12 states, “a wife who supports her husband is an excellent wife and an excellent wife is a crown to him.”
A woman of power in her own right, Daniels is a widely recognized community thought leader and activist as Chief Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Officer and Senior VP for a major health care system. However, as the wife of a pastor, she understands she must take care of business while her man is at the gate. “Our calling to the ministry of marriage is a beautiful opportunity and responsibility when married to men in prominent positions (The Gates),” she says. “Whether church, business, or community circles, how we handle ourselves illuminating them, while not dimming our light, creates flourishing households that are lighthouses for God’s kingdom.”
So, then what is the gates? Gates in biblical Israel were often the place where leaders would meet to discuss affairs of state and settle legal matters. It was typically a vast building, with an outer and inner gate that provided a second layer of protection, with a space in betw